Well to begin this post on a positive note, it's finally holidays! Horray, horray. Time is not on my side as of the moment, I have to complete all of 3 Maths text books in what? 6 weeks. I pray I can do this. The nervous feeling seems to be eating at me lately, I always feel as if i'm going to faint. I hope im not ignoring any illness or signs of a disease because that'll be horrible. Haha.
Lately I have been feeling quite meloncholy, maybe it's the stress of next year or it's because I over think everything I do. Well, it seems as if I have this problem where i'm extremely analytical towards basically anything that comes my way. I guess it 'could' be a good thing but the downfall is that I feel socially awkward in every situation. Gah, I'm not even making much sense am I?

I wish to address a couple of things which constantly I keep reminding myself of.
I have not had much 'luck' in the 'man' category lately. I always attract 'boys' who are idiotic or maybe it's just me who attracts them. Maybe I should be less picky and loosen up? . My friend said to me, "A geniune woman will attract a geniune man". Well, if this is in fact true then where the eff is my man? Unless I am not geniune, then what am I? A pile of plastic rubber connected by a string of wires. Basically i'm nothing but a fake. People say that with time you end up finding who you are in the world, but it's taking so damn long it's making me ponder if I am ever going to find a purpose or who I am. Maybe I am who I am now but i'm so fucking blindsided I can't see it.

I am also going to dedicate this paragraph to my lovely dog Ernie. He was the best dog I could ever ask for, playful but yet showed he could protect the house. Haha. I regret not spending time with Ernie, It's just I guess as I grew older, our relationship grew wider apart. He was amazing and words cannot sum up how my exact emotions for him. I hope he has a wonderful, delightful afterlife. You will always be missed Ernie, I love you. R.I.P.

To end this post, I am going to mention that as of right now my cat's ass is fixated on my arm. Fucking cat thinks it owns every piece of furniture in the house. Assuming my family and I are furniture as well. Nevertheless I still love her.

The scariest thing in life is change, not death but change. It's funny how the most insignificant aspects of ones life can impact it in such a way to alter ones future. Change is suprisingly always a good thing, not only because if it were non exsistant life would be boring but because it helps shape our futures for the better. It makes us stronger and helps us understand life a tiny portion more.

Anyway, i'm not sure why i am rambling on about complete nonsense which is paceing around my mind. But I guess It's good to write about things I think about. People told me that im such a simple minded girl and I do not think about life much. This is utterly false and it is quite the opposite in fact, I think about it everyday. Maybe not every waken second but atleast everyday. I disguise my pure self because honestly if I acted upon all of my thoughts I would be depressed. I'm happy, I don't care for anyone whom calls me stupid because I know im not. I wish people would stop judging, but then again if there was no judge life would be far different than it is today. I want to marry someone who is blind about physical aspects and appreciates the inner beauty of life and other aspects. I think someone like this could truely exsist, and until the day I meet them. Im waiting. I fall inlove with someone for what they see, not what they say. I should probably quit going on now.

Oh my gosh by the way, I watched the new supernatural season, episode 7. I pray Bobby isn't dead, Oh gosh I pray. The show needs him!

Have a nice day, night, afternoon, morning!

I hope, pray and wish that I get accepted into Medical School. My dream may have only just begun but I am over 200% certain that it is not going to end any time soon. Sometimes I ponder why it is I am so fascinated with continuing my journey, Is it destined? Well I sure as hope so.
I have printed various books on how to be successful in MS, and it seems that the one key for survival in the brutal environment is organization. Luckily for me I  have a very mild case of OCD, I like to organize everything so that I am up to date and standard with my work but to an extent were I wont become obsessed.

Today was my Daddy's 52nd Birthday! Happy Birthday Daddy! I decided to write in his card: " To Dad, Happy Birthday, it is your 52nd birthday and soon you will be 60, time to shave off that beard!" Ofcourse there is no absolute hope for him shaving but you never know, maybe that card could influence him in some random way. Since my Dad is a un-identical twin, it was also my Uncles birthday so we travelled a whole two and a half gruelling hours to the dead country side. Ok, I will never, ever be a country personal. I would'nt be able to survive without my glorious shopping sprees and the refreshing sound of the train passing by each hour. It's just too quiet for my likeings up there. Im incredibly hungry at this very moment, the "food" <- Notice how it is in quotation marks, was horrid at my Uncles. The chicken was full of salt and not to mention the chips were soggy. So Im off too make a pizza, home-made pizza's are the undenying best.

It seems that my week has taken a delightful turn. From being one of horrible to wonderful I feel much more vibrantly awake as well being excessively engaged. Like a drought given water, my unconscious mind was given consciousness again. I gathered my before status was thus because of lack of sleep and also the fact of only just commencing schooling again. I finally have undertaken the advanced mathematics class and it seems as if it's not all it's cracked up to be. But then again it could also be an 'easy' topic to begin with. Anyway I have been procrastinating lately, I should really begin studying for the maths test next week -_-" 

"To be, or not to be: that is the question".

A famous quote from the incredible William Shakespeare play Hamlet.
What is its significant meaning? Well, it is in ones interpretation ofcourse. Watching the filmed play Hamlet in English class has well and truely inspired I to persue reading  books written from that era. The language is art. I will continue this next time when thy finished watching movie. haha.

Ah yes, the first day of the last term of school has finally finished. Horray, horray, I can finally sit back and relax with my iced tea and express my absolute emotions on to my dearest friend, my blog.

I began the morning feeling fresh and focused, but little did I know my mood was about to change dramatically. Once I first arrived to school I was happily greeted by my lovely caring friends. Not. Instead the silence smothered the awkward atmosphere creating a sense of exclution for myself. How did I not see this coming? Its typical for them to do so anyhow.
Chemistry class was first up. Luckily I was prepared and succeed to grasp all the concepts immediatley at first introduction. Next lesson was a free, and ofcourse I succumed to that of procrastinating and used this time to chat with my "friends".
Recess.
After this delightful 20 minute break, English class started. I am in the most advanced English class, and what is greatly hilarious? The fact that we are now studying the text "Hamlet" and not only will our school not let us read it, apparently they think we are a bunch of unintelligent students! What is this? Im sorry but if our English Professor wants us to read it, then let us! Ugh, I can not stress how stupid of a school I am attending. I feel like im treated like a baby. No, not a teenager, a baby.
Biology class was a huge smack in the face. I was not only excluded from the help of my friends, WHICH were helping each other. But I got 2/10  on the so called "revision test". I feel like a complete failure but not to worry, I can improve.

The rest of the lessons were an utter waste of time so i cannot be fucked with mentioning them. As you can read my day went on the slightly negative, unproductive side. So now I am going to read hamlet, study all my mistakes in Biology, Write my proposal for research project and try and finish my mathematics questions.

My understanding and interpretation of life:
Birth -> Study -> Work -> Death
I love life.