Being positive means being happy, however, sometimes it is so hard to be positive in some certain situations. I have been having really horrible cramps lately, feeling weak and dizzy and also vomiting. I went to the doctor to get checked and I was told I had a 9cm which has grown a bit in the last month ovarian cyst. This means that I have to have surgery to remove it. To be honest, I am terrified. I know it isn't that bad and I will be ok, but I am just really scared. I can't help thinking about all the things that could possibly go wrong and can't focus on the positives. I guess this is why I have been feeling down lately and haven't left the house except for visiting doctors and the radiology centre. I am trying to be strong; it's time for me to grow up and accept what is happening. I can no longer be a baby about everything and hold my mothers hand. I need to start becoming more independant and start being a woman. There are so many things I want in life. I want to travel the world and paint landscapes. I want to eat and try all these foods. I want a career and to fufill all my goals. However, the biggest dream of mine is to have a family. I want to have children and be the best mother there is for them. I want to spend everyday asking how my husbands day has been at work when he arrives home. I guess in some aspects ive always wanted to be the perfect house wife and mother. I want to spend the rest of my life with my husband, the person who fights for me and sticks up for me. I just want to tell you I'm sorry for everything I've put you through, and that I am so thankful and lucky that you have stuck by my side through all these complications that our relationship has encountered. You are my one true love and will be for eternity.

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